Llandeilo RFC Canada Tour members

: Ross Beynon; Age 31; Hgt. 5'9''; Wgt. 12st.; CentreRoss is a veteran of the first Brantford game. Don't be deceived by the thinning pate, this man has everything that the great Irish International, Mike Gibson, had - pension book, false teeth and a two hour sidestep. But is still among the fittest members of the squad. Cattle dealer.

: Jonathon David; Age 18; Hgt. 6'1''; Wgt 12st. 7lb.; Back Row. If this is David I shudder to think what Goliath looks like (we will probably find out in Canada!). A back row player of great potential Jon is at the moment the envy of the rest of the team having just landed a vacation job at a local brewery. An under 19 County Cap, Jon is a student.

: Andy Davies; Age 19; Hgt. 5'9''; Wgt. 11st.; Wing. "Henry" is a devastating wing, but has the annoying habit of taking the "scenic route" through the opposing pack when heading for the try line. The annoying part is that he generally makes his destination apparently unscathed. Another Troscoed Hill rambler. Henry is a student.

: Alun Davies; Age 18; Hgt 6'; Wgt. 12st.; Centre. Alun is another member of the team at present languishing in a vacation job at the Brewery. Rumour has it he has shares in it. At any event the Club Chairman takes a keen interest in young Alun's game and insisted that if he is going to Canada then Alun should come as well. Student.

: Huw Davies; Age 19; Hgt. 6'; Wgt. 14st. 9lb.; Prop. "Chink" is a product of Youth Rugby an is an extremely promising player; always promising to buy a round of drinks. He works as a postman having been previously been employed by Wells Fargo, but got laid off due to the lack of Indians in West Wales. He feels Canada could be a traumatic tour as he has never been parted from his Royal Mail Van for so long, before.

: John Evans; Age 22; Hgt. 5' 9''; Wgt. 11st. 12lb.; Full Back. The Evans Clan have a family debenture on the full back position with John's brother having previously held the position. Like 90% of the team he fancies himself a bit of a goal kicker, but unlike the rest we feel that if referees allowed John to set up his theodolite on the pitch he would be highly successful. John is a Civil Engineer.

: Richard Evans; Age 19; Hgt. 5' 10''; Wgt. 11st. 5lb.;Centre. Richard is one of the most recent products of the excellent coaching system of the local Secondary school. A trus all rounder with the Under 19 County Caps in Rugby, Cricket, and Badminton, and a final Welsh Trial in cricket. But in September he has the unfortunate habit of shouting "Howzat" everytime a penalty is attempted. Student.

: Colin Griffiths; Age 22; Hgt. 6' 3''; Wgt. 13st. 7lb.; second Row. Colin has much in commen with former English International , Nigel Horton; both are "Prima Donna" line out specialists, both have been known to have served behind the bar. There the resemblance ends. Horton does not drink enough to get into our second row. A great favourite on our Scottish tours, Colin is a student & District player.

: Alan Hughes; Age 32; Hgt. 6' Wgt.14st.; Second Row. "Axeman". No he does not work for the Forestry Commission, it is a reference to the days when he played for Rampton Old Boys. Alan is a founder member of the F.F.F. and the chief instigator of their lunacy. He is another of Rugby Footballs' "Progressives" in that he also has progressed from the wing to the front five, where he is equally at home at prop or second row. Banker.

: Hugh Humphreys; Age 21; Hgt. 5' 8''; Wgt. 12st. 7lb.; Back Row. "Hughy" has all the grace and elegance of a D8 Bulldozer. A deceptive runner (he always seems to be in reverse gear!) he wouldn't win any prizes for rugby finesse, but is a player of tremendous guts (they hang out over his shorts) and determination. A great clubman, his versitality is shown by the fact that he is also the squad's reserve hooker. Engineering Technician.

: Michael Jenkins; Age 22; Hgt. 5' 7''; Wgt. 12st. Hooker. Micky is the regular hooker to the district side and is arguably the best hooker in West Wales Rugby; and let's face it, after a few pints Micky will argue with anybody. SOCIAL TIP: If you want to talk to Micky after the game, make it early in the evening as his social stamina has been known to flag.

: David Jones; Age 19; Hgt. 5' 9''; Wgt. 11st.; Wing. Since his arrival at the club the committee have seriously considered installing video tape machinery at Cae William to capture some of Dai's electrifying runs. He is very popular with the rest of the boys as he seems to be as fast at the bar as he is on the field. A former Dyfed Sprint Champion and Welsh Games Representative. He has Under 19 County aps at Rugby and Cricket. Student.

: Meirion Jones; Age 25; Hgt. 5' 11''; Wgt. 16st. 7lb.; Prop. "Supergog" is is one of the newer recruits to the Front Five Fraternity (F.F.F.); a hybrid of Freemasonry and The Mafia. He has caused greta consternation amoungst the clubs more serious inbibers since his arrival, nearly causing the 2nd XV Hooker to sign the pledge. On firtst appearance Meirion reminds one of a Mexican bandit which is deceiving see he is a Bank Manager.

: Wyn Jones; Age 20; Hgt. 5' 9''; Wgt. 12st.; Scrum Half. He says he is an art student, which accounts for some of the more dubious objects in his flat. To be precide Wyn is studying graphic design. Another all round sportsman, he has an Under 19 County Cup and has been a Welsh trialist at Badminton. He is one of three Llandeilo players who do much of their training up Truscoed Hill.

: Ivan Kirkup; Age 37; Hgt. 5' 8''; Wgt. 13st. 7lb.; Prop. Ivan is one of three players in the tour party who played in the first Brantford game and also one of three Kirkup brothers that have given the club great service over the years. Do not be fooled by his smooth, genteel sophistication, Ivan used to be a babysitter for S.A.S. recruits. Now he's a Steel Erector.

: Neddyn Lloyd; Age 24; Hgt. 5' 9''; Wgt. 11st. 6lb.; Centre. Neddyn is a Physical Education Teacher and former sprint champion. He is pretty nifty around the dance floor. Like Henry he prefers the "scenic route" to the try line often making the other members of the team queasy just from watching him. A former understudy for Road Runner, Neddyn is another product of Cardiff College of Education.

: Andy McCutcheon; Age 28; Hgt. 5' 9''; Wgt. 11st. 6lb.; Outside Half.Andy is another Art Student and is Llandeilo's answer to Van Gogh. He has yet to lop his ear off but should he ever lose his split second timing we feel some friendly flanker will oblige. A leading member of a new generation of Llandeilo players who have prematurely aged the captain. Andy is an Under 19 County and British polytechnics Final trialist.

: Andrew Plowman; Age 28; Hgt. 6' 1''; Wgt. 13st.; Back Row."Josh" is Llandeilo's most eligible bachelor; suave, debonair and a frequentor of the fleshpots of Europe's leading cities. Equally at home in the second or back row or any other part of the cinema, he performs well under pressure especially when the steam starts to escape through his ears. International Steel Erector.

: Barry Stephens; Age 25; Hgt. 5' 6''; Wgt. 11st. 7lb.; Scrum Half.When not advertising for a National Oetrol Company, Barry is employed as a schoolmaster, teaching physical education. An extremely elusive player, he uses his height and weight to full advantage and is an awesome sight when he puts his head back and makes a break through the opposing second row's legs. A former graduate and player of Cardiff College of Education.

: Ian Stephens; Age 21; Hgt. 5' 6''; Wgt. 10st. 7lb.; Outside Half.Ian is the brother of Barry and is an Under 19 Welsh Rugby International. At present he is dtudying family planning, sorry I mean Town Planning, which seems to take him to such exotic locations as Cyprus and Miami. Come to think of it I was probably right the first time.

: Alun Thomas; Age 19; Hgt. 6'; Wgt. 13st.; Second Row."Gwalia" is at present at college studying Mathmatics which comes in handy when trying to work out the mysteries our our line out signals. A mixture of Binary and Egyptian Hieroglyphics. He has been a revelation in pre tour training where his cross county times have raised suspicions, heightened by the sound of a moped engine in the forest sections of our course.

: Philip Thomas; Age 27; Hgt. 5' 7''; Wgt. 9st. 12lb.; Wing."The Whippet" has just enjoyed his best season for years and seems to be enjoying second wind. He has survived the bad old days when Llandeilo wingers were judged by the number of paperbacks they got through on a Saturday afternoon. Times have changed and Phil is lucky if he gets through the occassional comic now. Company Accountant.

: John Vanlanderwyk; Age 27; Hgt. 5' 8''; Wgt. 13st. 7lb.; Prop."J.V." was last year's Captain and is a founding member of the F.F.F. like so many so amny of the fraternity he is a progressive having started his career on the wing and "progressed" to the Front Row. He formerly drove an Ambulance during the week and tried to drum up trade on Saturday afternoons. An ex choirboy, John has a beautiful voice, and is now a machine operator.

: Chris Webb; CAPTAIN - Age 31; Hgt. 5' 7''; Wgt. 11st. 12lb.; Back Row."Spider" is the nicest and most sincere person I know; he also writes all his own pen portraits. He does not intend to retire at the end of the season in spite of the shouts from the popular bank. Besides his uncle Ross Beynon is due to retire first. Student (Retarded).

: Bleddyn Williams; Age 27; Hgt. 5' 11''; Wgt. 13st 7lb.; Utility Forward."Cawl" is enjoying his best season for Llandeilo. He is truly a versatile player, who with the benefit of a portable radar set could be great. Seriously though when pointed in the right direction Bledd is a world beater. Lorry Driver.

: Nigel Yelland; Age 22; Hgt. 6'; Wgt. 12st 5lb.; Back Row. "Niggly" is the son of Les, the clubs' steward and is the only member of the team to challenge Josh for his "most eligible bachelor" title. Rugby is only one of his interests which include bee keeping and girls, stamp collecting and girls, deep sea diving and girls. Truly a player of great stamina! Machine Operator.

: Nigel Davies; TREASURER. "Dai the Till" has always had a fascination for figures ranging from the anatomical to the latest starting prices at Sandown Park. Only Llandeilo RFC could entrust the office of Treasurer to a habitual gambler. Still, apart from occasional bouts of meglomania, he seems to do a good job. A keen tennis player, Nigel could have made Wimbledon but for the fact that they have got too many wombles there already. Nigel is a banker and the youngest treasurer in the W.R.U.

: Brian Evans; Like many of the younger committee men Brian is a dedicated Sunday lunchtime athlete. Known as Geronimo in his playing days. he is the assistant tour manager for Canada. We feel that if Brian could put on about five stone he could be in line for the Chairman or Vice Chairman's job. As it is when all three are lined up against the bar one is reminded of these Russian dolls that fit inside each other. A county cap in bricklaying, Brian is a building contractor.

: Peter Evans; "Snooze" gets his nickname for having a similar anatomical appendage to Jimmy Durante. He has been a committee man for some years as well as being one of the Saturday afternoon horsedoctors (Trainer). He is the landlord of the College Inn, a place where many of the tour party have been "Educated".

: Joe Harris; FIXTURE SECRETARY. Joe's origins with Llandeilo RFC are shrouded in the mists and myths of Arthurian legend, and this is reflected in our Fixture List which still has the 1st XV down to play Eric Bloodaxe's Touring Vikings! A former boy soprano with the Hitler Youth, Joe still has a fine voice. But nowadays it needs regular oiling. Owns a bookshop.

: Robert James; COACH. "Nobby" likes nothing better than to start the day on a meal of scrambled centres. A former Llandeilo player player he, like Mohammed Ali, keeps threatening to make a comeback. Nobby has the most travelled nose in Welsh Rugby; it having to circumnavigate his face at least twice, which makes his face the perfect advert for his business - he's in accident insurance.

: Brian Johns; VICE CHAIRMAN. Brian is Alun Lewis' understudy (he was the only one big enough for the part). A former Llandeilo player, his scorching runs and deft side-steps are sorely missed. But at least we don't have to construct any more Jerseys out of ex army tents. Brian is the tour manager for Canada, so I had better shut up. Tanker Driver for a petroleum company.

: Graham Jones; "Wheel" is another serious Sunday lunchtime athlete and although a relative newcomer to the committee has proved to be a valuable addition to the club. His chequered career includes a tour with the French Foreign Legions production of the "Desert Song" and a job as a hit man for the Brownies. Graham is employed by a fibre glass company and has a penchant for ethnic hairdos.

: Alun Lewis; CHAIRMAN. "El Supremo" has served the club, man and goal post for over fourty years. Besides being Deputy Mayor he is also Herman Goering to the local Air Training Corps Squadron. He has the innocent air of a well scrubbed baby. But rumour has it that this is the man that shot J.R. Alun is a Sales Manager for a brewery.

: Dudley Lewis; CLUB SECRETARY. If I wrote the truth about Dudley I would either end up in jail or floating down the river in a cement overcoat. Suffice to say he used to be Social Secretary for the Joseph Stalin Glee Club, before which he was the Export Manager for the Nantrybo branch of Mafia Distilleries Inc. Life is much quieter now. Dudley is the Manager of an Insurance Company.

: Les Yelland; CLUB STEWARD. Les is the Club Steward and the most valuable asset the club has, and it has cost us a small fortune to insure him for travelling outside the U.K. Les started his career as a butler for Lucretia Borgia where he learnt to mix such fascinating cocktails as a Himmler Highball, Atilla and Aniseed and a Gin and Ghengis Khan. It is not clear whether he is coming to Canada to keep an eye on Niggly or Niggly is supposed to keep an eye on Dad.